[Warning: this post contains an excessive use of the word “sucks” because, well, it’s the best way to describe what’s going on. Sorry if that is a no-no word in your house. It used to be one in my house too, until life turned really sucky.]
It’s been a month since we relocated back to the States. I wanted to have some eloquent message to give you today about how our transition is. I tried to write it. Many times. I couldn’t get it right. So, I’m just going to say it exactly how it feels, without all the hours of finessing.
Leaving people you love really sucks.
Watching those people (via social media) continue life without you really really sucks (particularly when one of them is in need, and you want to help).
Switching schools sucks.
Starting over sucks.
Going where no one knows your name sucks.
Navigating health care in the U.S. sucks.
Trying to remember your new address(es) and phone numbers and everything else sucks.
Living in someone else’s apartment, with a ginormous dog who is used to having lots of warm outdoor space to run, sucks.
The pain and tears of all of this sucks.
God is still God. And He is still good. He has absolutely provided for our every need since we’ve been here. Is it easy? No. We have no promises of ease or comfort. Just of His love and care. And we’re getting to see that played out on a daily basis.
A stranger brought us a hot meal.
Someone loaned us a car.
A dentist gave me a free consultation and set of x-rays.
A church is paying our rent on a furnished apartment.
A group of women sat with me when I cried.
Students walked the girls to and from new classrooms.
Some guys who “get it” listened to and commiserated with my better-half.
A family treated us to lunch at their favorite BBQ restaurant.
Others welcomed us into their homes, for food and fellowship.
People far and wide are praying for us and encouraging us.
A new friend loaned me her vacuum to suck up all the rat poop in our new house (seriously, this is huge and I probably owe her a new vacuum for this one).
Old friends called or messaged to check-in.
A group of people (most of whom have never even met us) are gathering on Saturday to help get our new home ready for two-legged occupants.
And… as I was typing this list, someone texted me saying “a friend offered to drop off his dump truck and haul away whatever we put into it for free.”
Oh my, I am overwhelmed! Yes, living in transition absolutely sucks. Whether you are adopting a kid, dealing with a serious illness, starting a new job, going back to school, or moving across city, state, or country lines, transition is really hard.
Yes, BUT. It’s not the impossible-kind-of-hard. Oh, it feels like it a lot of days, but it’s definitely possible… if only we stop and pay attention to all of the ways in which He is equipping and sustaining us in the process.
I remember when one of our adopting moms was in the thick of her muddy transition. She came to me one day saying she couldn’t see God (or anything good) in her process. Life sucked and she had lost sight of the end-game. Me, being outside of her mess, could absolutely see all of the ways in which God was providing for her. But she needed to be reminded. So I helped her make a list.
Just like my list above.
Thank you, to everyone who has been a part of this. We love you. Forgive us for our cluelessness, lack of communication, and/or strange emotions as we figure out our new normal. Keep praying, please. With God’s help, we’re getting there…
I’m so sorry your transition has been anything but easy, but I wish you the best of luck getting your new home move-in-ready this week. I hope you have a much less “sucky” second month back in the States.
Wendy Willard says
Thanks Christina! No, it’s not easy, but it’s OK. I know all of this is normal. That doesn’t take away the suckiness, but it does get easier knowing you’re not alone!