Life will be great, as soon as we _____…
If I could ______, then I would feel great…

The past few months have been filled with if-then statements like these. I hate to even admit how much I have been living on the edge of such a conditional existence.

If we could sell our house, then our financial situation would be stable…
If we could sell our house, then we could actually buy furniture for our new house…
If we could sell our house, then we’d have more income to give away…
If we could sell our house, then this huge burden would be lifted off our shoulders…
If we could sell our house, then my entire salary could go toward something our family is actually using (instead of an empty house hundreds of miles away)…

If only…

As soon as someone asks me how I am, these are the first thoughts that bubble to the surface. To fix that, I tried listing all the things we have to be thankful for, like Ann did. I made the lists. Lots of them. In notebooks, on my phone, and even on sticky notes strategically placed as reminders of the good stuff. But for me, it’s not the making of the lists that trips me up, but the living them out… day after day.

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
— 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Those lists ended up feeling like a constant reminder of my if-then statements. Every time I re-read them, there was a glaring omission. The one item I wanted to write into the “thankful for…” list was so obviously missing that I couldn’t even focus on anything else.

I realized that my thankful lists had turned into the ugly stepsister of Ann’s lists. They’d unintentionally become all about me. My wants. My needs. My blessings. My answered prayers.

So I threw out the lists.

Even though I do a poor job of living it sometimes most of the time, I do understand the root of my problem. I have been so engulfed if my own issues, that I’ve failed to focus on my Creator in all things.

He doesn’t need me to constantly remind him of my needs. No, he knows that repeating those needs centers my thoughts on myself, instead of reorganizing my thoughts around the beauty and wonder of my God.

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.”
— Philippians 4:4

Having said that, he can absolutely handle hearing my concerns. This isn’t so much about how my repeated moaning affects him, but rather how it affects me and my ability to reflect God’s light here on earth. The One True God knows the timeline. He knows my wants. My needs. And my blessings. He knows what is necessary and what will work the best to bring honor and glory to his kingdom, forever and ever, amen.

No seriously.

I say it on Sundays. And in my most official-sounding prayers. And in some worship songs. But what about when I’m driving to work. Or when I’m waiting in a really long line behind someone who is super annoying and definitely not praise-worthy. Here is where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. This is why my me-focused thankful lists only get me so far. Less about me. More about God’s character and creation.

Frances Roberts said it like this, in her take on God’s direction to us in 1 Thessalonians 5:8:

“Praise exercises the heart toward gratitude, and gratitude nurtures contentment, and you may know for a certainty that no fruit ever appears on the tree of discontent. So praise, My children, and never cease in your praising, for in the midst of it I will manifest Myself, and you will understand that when I demand of you your praises it is for your highest good. Out of praises come courage, faith, strength, optimism, clarity, and peace. Out of praises come health and happiness and the soul satisfaction men seek in the world and do not find… It is impossible for the man who has learned unceasing praise to be a failure. God’s blessing attends his path, and God’s Spirit rules his heart. He is eternally at peace with both God and man… Relinquishment of burdens and fears begins where adoration and worship of God becomes the occupation of the soul.”

Praying without ceasing became a reality to me when my kids hit middle school. (Can I get an Amen?!)
It’s the praising without ceasing I’m still working on.

Oh God, I’m sorry for how I’ve turned my thankful list into the all-about-me show. I’m sorry I have spent more time bemoaning my needs than marveling at you. You’re the God of truth, always perfect, never failing. Your ways are so much better than anything I could ever ask for or even imagine. Thank you for that. Thank you for being exactly what I need, when I need it (even when I can’t always see it).

Praise God, from whom all blessings flow;
Praise him, all creatures here below;
Praise him above, ye heav’nly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost!

Praise God the Father who’s the source;
Praise God the Son who is the course;
Praise God the Spirit who’s the flow;
Praise God, our portion here below!

O Lord my God! When I in awesome wonder
Consider all the works thy hand hath made,
I see the stars, I hear the mighty thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed;

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!