Created for You
Encouragement and resources for foster and adoptive moms
Over the weekend, I had the honor of speaking at the Created for You Retreat put on by Northway Christian Community in Pittsburgh. It was such a life-giving experience for me to be able to encourage the foster and adoptive moms gathered there.
We first began our foster care journey a little over a decade ago and have grown so much in our understanding of trauma and its impact on our bodies, families, and communities. Over the course of three sessions at the retreat, I was able to share pieces of our own story and what I’ve learned about:
Our core needs (worth, love, trust, rest, and nourishment)
What happens when those needs aren’t met either because of what happens to us (other peoples’ choices; ACEs) or what happens in us (our own choices)
How we can meet the needs of those in our care, fostering resilience to buffer the effects of toxic stress
As promised for the retreat participants and anyone else who is interested… here is a list of some of the great resources I mentioned, to learn more about adverse childhood experiences, trauma, and how it all affects us.
Note: This is really just the tip of the iceberg as far as what’s out there, but I didn’t want to overwhelm you with options. So I suggest checking these out first, and then going deeper by joining your regional ACEs Connection network.
Research & Background
Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University
Social Networking/Conferences
Videos
Podcasts/Audio
Love Thy Neighborhood (Episode 15: Where the Gospel Meets Foster Care)
Chapter 6 (“Sewer Rats and Scofflaws”) of Rising Strong by Brené Brown
Chapter 7 (“Wholehearted Parenting: Daring to be the adults we want our children to be”) of Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
Devotionals
Adopted for Daily Life: A Devotional for Adopting Moms (This is the devotional I helped put together!)
Faith, Hope, & Connection: A 30-Day Devotional for Adoptive and Foster Parents(I contributed to this one!)
Starter Books About Trauma/ACEs
The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity, by Dr. Nadine Burke-Harris
The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist’s Notebook — What Traumatized Children Can Teach Us About Loss, Love, and Healing, by Bruce D Perry and Maia Szalavitz
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk
Firsthand Accounts of Foster Care or Adoption
The first three of these are written by people I know personally. All are well worth your time.
Redeeming Ruth: Everything Life Takes, Love Restores, by Meadow Rue Merrill
Carry On: A Story of Resilience, Redemption, and an Unlikely Family, by Lisa Fenn
Joey’s Story, by Ruth Ann Stelfox
Three Little Words: A Memoir, by Ashley Rhodes-Courter
Parenting Support
The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family, by Karyn Purvis, David Cross, and Wendy Lyons Sunshine [Note this book is helpful for all families, not just those who are adopting.]
A Relentless Hope: Surviving the Storm of Teen Depression, by Gary E. Nelson
Breathe: for parents of children with serious mental illness, a resource from Kay Warren
Other Helpful Books
It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered, by Lisa TerKeurst
Anatomy of the Soul: Surprising Connections between Neuroscience and Spiritual Practices That Can Transform Your Life and Relationships, by Curt Thompson
Tell Me More: Stories About the 12 Hardest Things I'm Learning to Say, by Kelly Corrigan
Lead Like Jesus Revisited: Lessons from the Greatest Leadership Role Model of All Time, by Ken Blanchard
Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone, by Brené Brown
Choose Joy: Because Happiness Isn't Enough, by Kay Warren
Training
Remember…
When you’re feeling like the mothering road ahead is impossible, this clip from Young Sheldon always encourages me. I hope it encourages you as well.